Fear as a gift

We should neither shun fear or let fear control us. By acknowledging our fears straight on, with self-compassion, we can work through the fears with flow and gentleness, not unlike the martial art Aikido deals with attacks. After working through fears in this fashion, we can discern what to keep and what discard from the fears.


The first step is to, like in Aikido, look inside the fear, and open it up as a gift. Rather than meet the fear with confrontation or intent to eliminate it, look in the direction of the fear. What danger is the fear trying to protect you from? What gifts do the fear's protective intent contain? Perhaps wisdom (i.e. Look both ways before crossing the street.) Perhaps compassion: The fear holds you back because of a painful past memories of failure, problems, hurt, vulnerability, and so on. Like Buddhist author Pema Chödrön advises, channel the pains of your past into compassion and understanding towards others who may be suffering through the same experiences that you had. Thank the fear for its intent to protect you, and the gifts of wisdom and compassion that they have provided. Then move on to the next step.


The next step is to look at where you want to go beyond the fear. Is the fear truly protecting you from real and present dangers or perhaps keeping you from pursuing your true happiness, from doing the things you love? This isn't always easy to discern, but don't let difficulty stop you. (Maybe 'blog through' your dilemmas like I'm starting to do here.) Take baby steps if necessary, but move in the direction of your happiness goals. As the title of this one book advises: "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway"

Barbara Sher - Refuse to Choose - You'd be surprised who "dabbled in everything"

Listen to what Barbara Sher says about her book "Refuse to Choose."
If you like to do all sorts of things to where you're not sure what you really "are" - listen to this:
(Listen to the list of famous people who dabbled in all sorts of things. Be encouraged.)

Morita - Feel how you feel, but "keep on keeping on"

I like this Japanese approach to dealing with psychological issues.  Trying to fight, dwell on, or analyze emotions can be like trying to reverse river currents or ocean tides and can hold up progress towards one's own well being.  The "Morita" approach is to accept what you feel and redirect attentions towards day-to-day to-do's and take small, practical steps towards your goals.  The resulting sense of accomplishment can reward you with relief from emotional issues.  Here's an excerpt from the web site http://www.todoinstitute.org/morita.html (not mine), which explains this approach eloquently:

Self-centeredness and Suffering

In Western psychotherapy there are a great many labels which purport to diagnose and describe a person’s psychological functioning - depressed, obsessive, compulsive, codependent. Many of us begin to label ourselves this way, rather than investigate our own experience. If we observe our experience, we find that we have a flow of awareness which changes from moment to moment. When we become overly preoccupied with ourselves, our attention no longer flows freely, but becomes trapped by an unhealthy self-focus. The more we pay attention to our symptoms (our anxiety, for example) the more we fall into this trap. When we are absorbed by what we are doing, we are not anxious because our attention is engaged by activity. But when we try to “understand” or “fix” or “work through” feelings and issues, our self-focus is heightened and exercised. This often leads to more suffering rather than relief. How can we be released from such self-focused attention?

“The answer lies in practicing and mastering an attitude of being in touch with the outside world. This is called a reality-oriented attitude, which means, in short, liberation from self-centeredness.”
Takahisa Kora, M.D.