Fear as a gift

We should neither shun fear or let fear control us. By acknowledging our fears straight on, with self-compassion, we can work through the fears with flow and gentleness, not unlike the martial art Aikido deals with attacks. After working through fears in this fashion, we can discern what to keep and what discard from the fears.


The first step is to, like in Aikido, look inside the fear, and open it up as a gift. Rather than meet the fear with confrontation or intent to eliminate it, look in the direction of the fear. What danger is the fear trying to protect you from? What gifts do the fear's protective intent contain? Perhaps wisdom (i.e. Look both ways before crossing the street.) Perhaps compassion: The fear holds you back because of a painful past memories of failure, problems, hurt, vulnerability, and so on. Like Buddhist author Pema Chödrön advises, channel the pains of your past into compassion and understanding towards others who may be suffering through the same experiences that you had. Thank the fear for its intent to protect you, and the gifts of wisdom and compassion that they have provided. Then move on to the next step.


The next step is to look at where you want to go beyond the fear. Is the fear truly protecting you from real and present dangers or perhaps keeping you from pursuing your true happiness, from doing the things you love? This isn't always easy to discern, but don't let difficulty stop you. (Maybe 'blog through' your dilemmas like I'm starting to do here.) Take baby steps if necessary, but move in the direction of your happiness goals. As the title of this one book advises: "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway"